I imagine dealer is saying that there is no way that it's the wrong key because they come come direct from BMW ?? What's with the notches that you said the key has ?? I don't remember all the details but are we "assuming' that the ignition lock cylinder is original ?

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1988 325is (purchased new) sold
2004 X5 3.0 2005 X3 2.5
2008 X5 3.0 (new to me)