I felt what you are talking about while test driving a 3.0. One of my justifications for getting a 4.8 instead. But the lag is nothing as bad as that in a MB E320.
I believe during a test drive the CA told me that the X5 does start in 2nd gear. (Can anyone confirm this?). He said that if I wanted to start in 1st, that I'd have to put it in DS mode instead.
It actually makes sense because I find that the 4.8 is hard to start from a stop smoothly. You have to pay more attention to the amount of gas you give. Too much and the car feels like it downshift's into 1st gear and lunges forward! While in DS mode, it is much more responsive and smooth (more like the transmission in a 535i).
What you can do is also try reprogramming the transmission. It tries to learn a person's driving pattern and make things smoother. Don't remember the sequence though. Do a quick search.
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