Greetings from Canada Mike! Very sorry to hear about your wife.

We just picked up our 2009 X5 35d and we LOVE IT!! To break in, I have been driving 'normally' - no full acceleration starts and no harsh stops.

I come from the Audi brand, and while I love the X, a few things irritate me. For example, no default radio volume setting - if you leave it on loud, it stays loud at next start up. Also, when you turn off the X, the doors don't unlock automatically.

Overall though, it is FANTASTIC and we really like it. Can't wait to take it on a road trip to Seattle!

All the best.