330,
Well, I have to say, this is one on the most well-thought and factual posts I've seen in quite some time!
By the way:

I often wondered why I've never had this problem. I have the moisture under the cap every winter, the glob on the stick when checking oil, and at 97K, it's never happened. Big reason must be it's a garaged vehicle and never gets any colder than about 40F in my garage even on the coldest nights. After work, even though it's below freezing, still not cold enough to freeze up since it's not as cold as late at night and I drive off fine. I like the dipstick thing as a stop-gap measure - saftey valve ready to blow off and save thousands of $$$'s. Next overnight trip that I take the X5 on, I will pull the dipstick out 1 ring as you suggested just to be on the safe-side. It's interesting that once the car thaws out (the OS), it runs normally like nothing ever happened once the oil burns-off of course. I certainly will not rush to the dealer if this happens to us, just be patient, let her warm-up and be on your way! Thanks for sharing this info with us!

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2022 X6///M - Toronto Red, Silverstone Full Merino Leather, Executive Package w/Remote Engine Start, Soft-close doors, Heated & Cooled Cupholders, Front Ventilated Seats, Front & Rear Heated Seats, Front Massaging Seats, Carbon Fiber Trim.

2002 X5 3.0i, Sport Premium, Titanium Silver, Grey Dakota, Cold Weather Pkg, Xenons, DICE, LED Tails, just a winter vehicle...

2007 550i, Sport Premium, Silver Grey Metallic, Grey Dakota, Nav, Cold Weather Pkg, Comfort Access, HD Radio, Xenons.