Judging from the lack of responses hopefully others are in the same boat as I am.
I found this GREAT site:
Car Detailing How To Information
I plan to read all I can and report back.
to start
"Wash – Thoroughly wash your car to remove loose dirt.
Clean – Clean your paint with detailing clay to remove bonded surface contamination that is stuck to the paint and is not removed with normal washing.
Polish – Remove defects in your paint, staining and enhance overall shine.
Protect – Protect the paint surface from harsh environmental elements and prevent premature aging with a wax or paint sealant.
Maintain – Maintain your paint with normal washing and quick detailing in between washing."
Its sad but just that relieved some confusion for me.
And im the guy that everyone THINKS knows how to keep his car clean!