Coolest experience in your E53?

[Bdc101]

I've been pondering this, and I've come to the conclusion that the coolest experience I've had in my X is that it has, against all odds, never once stranded me.

[PropellerHead]

I've been giving this some old fashioned thankin'... Stewin on it some might say.. And I guess I just don't have the one thing... But what I do have is the *whole* thing... I'll esplain:

The i6's
We got the 1st E53 as one of the early i6's in March of 2001. Man, was that a thing no one had ever seen in 2001. Great fun. My mother-in-law babied that thing for 130k miles or so for nearly 20yrs. A notable portion of those miles was when she would arrive 90 minutes prior to school closing so she could be the 1st in line to pick up my lil Peanut baby girl- born in 2004, coincidentally. I always appreciated her commitment, and we kept that 'Old Lady Beige' until we just had to let it go. (For another E53)

We're having a baby
Just a few years after buying the '01, word was that we was gonna be visited by the stork. I shopped every damn thing from leased Buicks to F150s. The supercharged E39 540 was just not gonna do for daily duties. Enter the 2nd E53. '04 i6 CPO with a shitload of miles (33k in 4 months). It was suspiciously high. Like.. .Overlanding really rich people through the Aussie Outback high.... But alas.. Sell me a CPO E53 for a few $k more than a new F150? Deal is done.

And baby comes home
Now, here's a moment...

It was when we had arranged a car seat for the 1st time ever ride home. We even used the little seat anchors and the straps and so forth.. Like professionals who weren't childless three days ago. And the nurse says.. "You might want to get some of those window shades to keep the sun out of her eyes." I pulled the rear shade out and clipped it in and said, "Like this?"

She says, "Look at you, Papa... You've been planning ahead!"

Head.. exploded..

I coulda had a V8!
It only took ab 100k miles and 7 years before I had to ask that odd question many of us have asked our wives... "Would you divorce me if I wanna buy my dream.... (X5)?"

"No, No, don't worry." she said "I'll divorce you for completely different reasons."

My idiot car boy tunnel vision had me selling a pretty nice i6 with 100k miles for an '04 V8 with 11k miles in 2011. I totally missed the divorce thing. I saw what she said as a green light. What red blooded man wouldn't?
After all, whatever it is that she said.. I mean.. c'mon! This just makes sense! I'll admit I missed some subtleties about divorce. But so far, we've maintained the E53-centered polyamory that seems to keep us united. Also.. in my defense.. the 4.8is was blue. I just can't do anything ab that.

And so, my baby girl cried a little about the green X5 going away and the blue one showing up. I sorta got to see some things about the human we have at that moment. It's been any number of boys, 2 'starter' BMWs, jr high AND high school graduation and the eve of her 20th year. She still likes things the way she thinks they oughta be. The E53 was a big part of that insight. It remains true today.

I know! Let's just make an insane decision to own two N62's!
Right around the time the '01 needed an oil pan gasket in 2019, I came upon a 2004 4.4- loaded- and my lusted after Alpine White- with 34k miles. I could sell the 100k mile Old Lady Beige '01 for a little less than I could buy the '04 N62. (What could go wrong?)

So, the purchase aligned with my daughter's Spring Break- and Lent. I was on a weight loss journey and had given up alcohol. She decided to give up sweet tea for Lent. We pinky swore that I would give up soda and she would stick to no sweet tea. That was a tough trip for both of us when we ended up in a Wendy's ordering water. But we did it. I didn't drink a coke until I had lost over 100lbs.

We spent that trip home touring at least a dozen college campuses. She wanted the tee-shirts. I wanted to see if something clicked. It all started with buying an E53 and driving it home.

Both borders, both oceans, and (if you can believe it... ) only 46 states in the CONUS .
In between all of that, the blue 4.8is served us dutifully. From 103 degrees at night in a Phoenix parking lot to that one day when we went from Death Valley to the top of a mountain in Utah. 117 degrees to 18 with snow.

On one roadtrip, we actually met a family with an E53 at Cadillac Ranch in Amarillo. That would be weird enough, except that they ended up sharing our same last name. We travelled along the same route West and found one another many times on Route 66. A decade on and we are still connected as families. They are grandparents now. Their E53 is long gone.

We climbed Mount Washington in New Hampshire. We drove to the Southernmost point in Florida. The 4 Corners, over 2 DOZEN National Parks. Route 66 is a friend of ours. I have driven my E53 in the downtowns of Manhattan, Seattle, Miami, Chicago, San Diego and Houston and Vancouver. Glacier National in Montana, Acadia in Maine, Pikes Peak, and Florida Everglades. We've seen at least 35 state capitals, every single 9/11 memorial, toured each of the Military academy campuses, including West Point. At least 3 dozen college campuses, and.. well.. 185k miles of replacing every damn thing that breaks.

And so, my solace. The latest coolest thing in my E53...
I guess finally, and this may be weak sauce for the real men of the forum..

But I learned to tow in my E53. My redneck boat towing, back hoe bringin, side by side good ol'e boy best buddy from 4 decades back of high school taught me on his farm and everything. Man, I was nervous. And MAN! Did I unlock a nice punch in the man card.

I used those towing lessons to tow my daughter and an inordinate amount of shoes to college. It wasn't the same E53 that I brought her home in. But it sure as hell was the same chassis I let her go in.

She's down there in her little 128 diddlin around like the world is her playground. I can't help to think of her enthusiasm at college in the same way as when she was layin into pre-K soccer at age 5. Fearless. Determined. Ready to fight the battle and win the war. She's got this whole new thing going on. But the E53 has been her chariot throughout.

First year of college done.
And when she needs to come home, I'll hitch up the E53 to tow her and whatever shoes remain at college. On to our next thing! After all, the white N62 has yet to clear 60k miles. And momma is gettin itchy for one of those empty nester road trips.

[X5only]

I remember the first drive after the style 87 staggered wheels were installed. The drive was amazing - smooth and I could feel the weight of the wheels . The vehicle looked so cool especially after lowering it with H&R springs. And now that I have avin4 head unit and upgraded sub woofer, very cool modern audio and connectivity experience .

[Serb404]

getting compliments all the time that people can't believe it's a 2004 car with 187K miles currently and paint is still in good shape lol

[crystalworks]

Has to be the purchase experience. Starting with a "warm up" 4.4 that is now being rather fastidiously cared for by Happy and his daughter. It was a great intro to the Xoutpost community and really wetted my whistle for the chassis/motor and, like a gateway drug, wanting to experience the first "M" X5.

But that purchase was the one and only time I've ever bought a vehicle sight unseen, 1700 miles from home... and trusted a car salesman (at a Buick dealership!) regarding condition of a vehicle. It turned out okay, but yeah, it was a "puckering" decision/experience. As EODguy is frequently pointing out, I don't know how I'm still married... or had some "accident" occur resulting in my leaving this world behind.

For anyone interested... a full story/writeup about the purchase trip is linked here. Fair warning, it's long. I was excited, and 9 years younger than I am now. Cut me some slack.

I've only put about 40k miles on the truck in those 9 years, most in the first 2. Shortly after purchase we put about 3k miles on it taking my daughter and MiL all over FL to visit family. We've had good times in the vehicle for sure and both kids are already fighting about who gets it when the time comes. My wife always jumps in for me... lol, "sorry kids, Dad's getting buried in Red."

And, as all E53 owners know, especially those brave enough (read dumb enough) to be equipped with a V8 variant: the sword of Damocles is always present. Red's VSS are getting worse and who knows when the mickey mouse gasket will let go... but I'll be damned if I don't love this truck and smile every time I fire it up.

[Happy]

Originally Posted by crystalworks

"sorry kids, Dad's getting buried in Red."

Oh snap! Hopefully not prematurely.

Originally Posted by crystalworks

Has to be the purchase experience. Starting with a "warm up" 4.4 that is now being rather fastidiously cared for by Happy and his daughter.

That 4.4iS is bad ass..!!


E53 RiPPeR
XOuTPoST jUNkiE
ReVELaTiON 22:21

[Happy]

Coolest experiences..? There are sooo many when it comes to my 3.0 . I’ve owned that rig for more than half its life, so the memories are abundant, and continuing to this day.

A funny one was, when I learned the sunroof pops after something like 3 years of ownership. I remember saying, “it does that, kewl”! LoL.. I still don’t know how to work the features that pop up on the cluster. So believe how stoaked I was when I reset the oil indicator via the cluster a few weeks ago. There are probably many things I still don’t know how to use.

But by far the coolest is… The reengineering of my E53’s M54 to pretty much the same configuration as the LMDh P66/3 minus the hybrid function, and I6 versus V8. A forced induction power plant, burning ethanol fuel (80/20), with adaptations. I never wanted a static tune. I wanted the setup to be able to adapt to the variable conditions it would face from ambient temperature changes, to fuel inconsistencies, etc.. As of today everything thing is functioning properly, and OBD diagnostics are clear. Most definitely my coolest experience!

And last but not least, the installation of the headers. Hearing all that science described above taking place without restriction is automotive bliss to my ears.

So what started out as a dream to get as close as possible to the performance of the P75 powered E53, I ended up with a build with some attributes similar to that of the P66/3 LMDh. What an experience!

It’s sooo funny when I pull into a parking lot, and people hear all this sound and begin looking for a race car. Then when they focus in and realize it’s coming from an old ass E53 is hilarious! I’ve seen some pretty dumbfounded expressions.

So enough rag chewin! Time to fire up OLe’GiRL, and make some more cool experiences with my lovely family.


E53 RiPPeR
XOuTPoST jUNkiE
ReVELaTiON 22:21

[workingonit]

Originally Posted by crystalworks

Has to be the purchase experience....

I tend to keep all my vehicles way past their reasonable service lives, simply because I both hate losing them (they're like family to me...not my flesh & blood family that caused me so much grief over the years, but like a trusted sibling...as if I actually had one that was trustworthy), and I just don't want to have to go through the purchasing experience (or ordeal, depending on when & where I was buying a vehicle).

I only remember a few purchase experiences that were quick, sweet, and made me happy, without any run-arounds or the salesman or sales manager trying to screw me with add-ons, or hidden charges. My experiences were from buying both new and used, including project vehicles, and include dealing with dealerships, small used-car shops, and individuals at their homes, over a 57+ year timespan.

Pertaining to the X5: it was my only car-for-car (including trailer-for-trailer) straight-up swap, with no cash money exchanged. Totally painless, since we both got what we wanted, and we had planned for it for almost 4 years.

True, as pointed out by my wife, I lost my shirt on what my Chevelle race car was worth in parts I had used in building it, alone (plus the car-hauler for mini-utility trailer swap, not to mention all the specialty tools & spare/expensive spare parts I threw in) as compared to the apparent low value of the high-mileage, quite used appearing (carpets & seats worn, paint faded) old truck I was getting, but I wanted it and wanted for my friend/neighbor to have my Chevelle, and to put it back on the street again. He spent money to purchase, repair & restore the running gear (for 3.5 years) before the swap, and I didn't even start or check the Chevelle for driveability, for 10 years before we pulled it out of my garage. Still, I think, overall, the swap was fair.

I did have three good purchase experiences over a 23-year period, at a local Chevy new-car dealership: first, buying my '86 S-10 from a personal friend working there, and the last two times from a young salesman, when I bought an '08 Cobalt, and seven months later, my '09 HHR Panel. Each time, I was treated well, no surprises, and in & out in a couple of hours, buying vehicles already in inventory. If I was in the market for another new Chevy, that's where I'd go first, even today.

I bought a '73 VW SuperBeetle brand-new off the showroom floor, and drove it off the floor myself, after only 45 minutes. I did have my Dad with me, so he probably kept the salesman honest (it was my first new-car purchase, so I wouldn't have known if they were trying to pull a fast one on me). I paid half-down in cash, so that probably helped.

Other new-car buying experiences weren't so memorable/favorable, as I bought a new '81 Ford Courier pickup from another friend (at a highly-advertised mega-dealership), but the sales manager was a add-on hidden fee adding son-of-a-b***h, and my friend was embarassed by subjecting me to him (he left the dealership shortly thereafter). I still bought it, but after similar bad experiences with their parts & service departments (and with another Ford dealership closer to home, later) I swore never to buy Ford again. Same with a Nissan dealership, buying a '87 Nissan Sentra for my first wife, same results, don't even mention Nissan where I can hear you, please.

I've bought mostly used cars/trucks from individuals (and five or so from side of the road used car shops); they were mostly fair, negotiable, and semi-honest about the car's condition, and I got what I paid for, mostly. One notable exception was when I was hunting for a '66 Chevelle in '94-95, I saw an ad in the paper about one I couldn't bypass, 150+ miles away. I withdrew from the bank the exact amount he wanted for it, and after confirming that that price was stiil the same, I drove there with my wife (so I could drive the Chevelle home, no trailer yet). After I examined the car (not exactly as advertised, but almost) I was about to get the bill of sale when he doubled the price, and refused to reduce it. Then he laughed, and said "if you want it, then you'll pay for it", and I knocked him out and left. Later, he called me at home, wanting his money and threatening retaliation, but I offered to meet him, but he never showed. Screw him. I used to have a temper.

Otherwise, except for the time I bought my '04 Chevy 2500HD, used, from a Hummer/Chevy dealer, I got everything I expected. The dealership swapped/stole the alloy wheels for steel ones with chrome covers, and also stole the spare tire before I picked it up, at night. The next day, when I went over it and noticed the disparities, I called a friend who did a lot of business with them, and we went up there (75 miles north) and we got them to put on 5 new tires, and the spare wheel of course, new wiper blades, oil change, detailing, full tank of gas (36 gallons), etc. in exchange (after I decided I wanted to keep the steelies, but never told them that). It pays to know someone with influence.

Overall, I like to buy cheap used vehicles for cash, possibly getting the seller to make concessions or throw in new tires (done so on five or so vehicles, to sweeten the deal), then do my own work to improve the vehicle, avoiding dealerships (stealerships is a good name, for most).

Though my wife just bought her low-mileage '14 Lexus ES350 from a retired judge (it was exactly as promised, for a good price, with brand new Michelins thrown in), I don't see any new or new-ish car purchases in my future, at 73 and retired, and with two trucks, two SUV's (one a SAV?), and a sedan for two drivers, we probably don't need/want to experience the questionably enjoyable? purchasing experience, anytime soon.