well I've got most of the things to work... My car is a 2008 4.8i... maybe this will help someone

Added +AHMU to the FA for both CAS and FRM

AHM Module
changed LAENDERVARIANTE_AHM to "us"

also changed
PDC module
ANHAENGERKUPPLUNG aktiv-> nicht

CAPPL module
Same change as above

My brake lights/running lights work now and PDC turns off when I hook up a trailer

Btw, I'm using the OEM hitch kit and OEM wiring. Also using the BMW converter from 7 to 4 pin

Now I was getting two errors, Trailer Wiring Malfunction and Right stop light malfunction. I double checked all my wiring, everything seemed OK...

I went ahead and disabled the bulb checks same way you would do when installing LCI tails.

Now the Stop Light warning is gone. I'm still getting the Trailer Wiring Malfunction. Anyone know what would cause that? I spent 3 hours going through every single module trying to find anything to do with trailers, but no luck so far