I had started calling wreckers listed on car-parts.com. Trailer hitch is one of the categories of parts they list - there were over a dozen listed. Prices were around $200-$300, but the wreckers are not very good at identifying the OEM vs aftermarket ones. I posted some pictures last week of one that was supposed to be OEM but was really a Curt. I got them to agree to send me pictures of the actual hitch before they packaged it, and am glad I did. Got frustrated and didn't call the next one on the list...

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David.X5
2001 X5 4.4i Sport
SOLD! at 160k miles