A few of my personal thoughts:
- Transmission reset is unlikely to address the problem. Doesn't hurt to try but don't put a lot of weight into it.
- Same goes for fluid change. Again it doesn't hurt to change but IMO it's unlikely to have any affect.
- Software update. Same thing unless you're experiencing the problem the new software is intended to address.
- Valve body - I had to replace this in my 2000 4.4 and my indy was able to source it locally here in Colorado for a significant discount ($550 versus thousands from BMW) from the distributor. It ended up solving my problem (which was the infamous bucking on the 2 to 1 down shift)
Good luck!