Your symptoms are the same as I had with my 3.0D. I did have gearbox adaptions reset, but that changed nothing. I had my valve body replaced which fixed problem 100%. I found that putting the gearbox into M mode just before stopping would reduce the effect, I think because it would change down to 1st. gear earlier and avoided the THUMP change to first when stopped. The valve body I obtained was second hand through eBay, and fitted by the seller. Cost me around $4k (Aussie dollars), but some money refunded from the car dealer as the vehicle was recently purchased and although out of warranty, he did come partially to the party to the tune of $1500.