The flywheel holding tool is a special pin. Fits through the aluminum bell housing and into the flywheel. It is not meant to resist the torque needed to get the main bolt out. Its to hold timing.

The main pulley (with damper) is made in two parts - remove the 6-8 bolts holding it together, remove the outer part, and install the holding tool on the nub that is left behind. Either counter hold it with a cheater bar, or position it on the frame rail avoiding crushing any wires or hoses. Then figure out how you are going to turn that 400 ft-lb mama-jama nut. A 3/4" drive breaker bar (which is around 48" long) works good!

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David.X5
2001 X5 4.4i Sport
SOLD! at 160k miles