Make me a liar or make me a f00l....
Just got home and decided to just check the fill level.
And lo and behold...it was where I thought it should have been, on the correct level, which is a inkling below the high mark. Car has not started or moved since I checked it yesterday.

It must have been a oil clot just hanging on the dipstick cause I swear, it was pretty ~full~ past the plastic bulb if not thensome on the metal portion of the dipstick.....and I wiped it down and reinserted at least 3-4X thinking I was crazy.