Quick update. Got my keys back from bmwgm5. For a benny even, I got 2 working remotes.

One of them - lock button was no good. Probably bad switch.
All good now.

Latter. Would not crank car. This is what started the whole homework....
2nd key - all good.

Did not need to send in the EWS for this no crank situation.
Was able to use the car this whole entire time with the non remote keys, so no downtime involved.

The only drawback at the end of the day, is I know the keys are not as ~sealed~ as when when they were plastic-welded shut...but I knew this going in

--just because--- I feel like it's finally showing her age, I'm going to stash the plastic valet onboard the car somewhere.

Wifey got lucky. She called me and was only 5 minutes away when the key decided to not crank the car.