Finally an update here!
I've been quite busy with work and family time, don't need the X5 until snow anyway so it's been on the back burner a bit. Finally had some time to dig into it again these last few days, I started to pull the valve body and did some more research and figured it was just a waste of time and decided to pull the whole trans. This time I had it out and on the bench in about three hours
Tearing it open was pretty straight forward, I have rebuilt around a dozen GM automatic transmissions so this wasn't all to unfamiliar. From some other posts / pictures on here it seems like this trans has been apart and at least partially rebuilt before, the A clutch drum assembly has the dimples that from what I understand is an updated part and was put in the newer transmissions built after this one. In any case, this A clutch assembly looks like new. The radial bearing that typically fails also looks excellent with no visible pitting or wear. Of course I found the smoking gun in the F clutch piston, completely destroyed.
Dimples on A clutch hub
Snap ring groove and the rest of the drum looks excellent with no cracking or wear.
Radial bearing in great shape
And of course the F clutch piston.... smoked. Only maybe 25% of the outer seal was in good shape with the rest of it completely gone, and the big chunk ripped out of the inner seal as well.
So... this is the plan. I am going to take the good A clutch hub assembly and install that in the original trans after I take that apart and make sure there is no damage to the F clutch piston in that one. It had reverse just fine but I would hate to be right there and not look at it then throw it together and have reverse go out in three months. Once I get that transmission in and all together and get the X5 on the road I will then fully rebuild the used trans that I purchased and used for parts.