GOOD NEWS
The TPMS MALFUNCTION error that has been plaguing me has been Vanquished!
4 new TPMS sensors in the wheels seems to have solved it. 2 weeks and 2k miles since my tire service and No Errors!

Seems the dealer was wrong - no faults were registered from any sensors, as they said would be the case. Occam's Razor - the simplest explanation is most likely the correct one.

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2012 e70 X5 50i MSport "The Boss" black on black *Well Optioned*