Update: I pulled the airbag out so I could see what was going on instead of just feeling around.

The connector from the new door handle cable to the ball pivot looked a little cockeyed. I poked it with my finger and tried the door and bam it opened right up.

I messed with that stupid thing dozens of times to no avail. But now it worked?! Go figure. But now I'm a little scared of the reliability of the door handle.....