Ok, long story short, IT WAS THE THROTTLE BODY.
Whoever said to fix tail lights to get the car from cutting power off was incorrect.
Just replaced it, drove to work and not a single glitch!!!
My throttle body was nice and clean, but I bet the electronic sensor was toast. No wonder I was getting so many errors pointing to the throttle!!


I hope my story helps someone to fix the engine fail prog+dsc+abs issue! Such a relief not having the car die on me on every road every couple of minutes!!