Originally Posted by Rockit

So an update....the problem with the trans was NOT in the trans, it was the rubber damper on the drive shaft.

So my car was shifting fine, I changed the trans oil at 125k on a 2002 and it started to down shift harsh. I'm a very good diagnostician and this got me. The rubber damper on the drive shaft was cracked
/worn and aloud to wobble and created play, very hard to spot bolted together. When the car was put on the lift it most have torn the worn part further. as the suspension went to full rebound. Every time I would put it on the lift to change the trans fluid it would change the position or align or misaligned the rubber cupler. I don't know the BMW name for it.

If you have a Hugo E53 and I would change every piece of plastic and rubber you can find. I had 2 E38's with 150k and 10 years old and never had any of these issues expect for the bear radiator top house cracking as the all did.

Anyway if you have an 2002-2005 or so change them now, its age rather than mileage. You will never find this until the bolts break off eventually, I had zero drive line vibration.