Well I still had an "oh crap" moment: I've now fitted the BMW OEM door handle carrier & it is clear that this one was at least designed to fit. Handle works perfectly. I had to bodge a bit because the attachment points for the exterior handle were now shot (loose where the plastic pin fits in at one end, and the metal pin at the other end I must have pulled loose by over tightening the nut.. doh) from repeated removal and refitting with the earlier incorrect carrier part..

But (fortunately before I'd refitted the interior trim panel) the door wouldn't lock / unlock when I use the central locking button. As if the lock actuator was dead.

Turned out to be (seemingly) a loose connection at the electric window switch, so worth checking that if you have the same issue.. All sorted now.

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2000/12 BMW X5 3.0L
1989/12 BMW 325ic
2000 BMW E39 528i