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Old 04-25-2021, 11:41 PM
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PropellerHead PropellerHead is offline
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Originally Posted by PropellerHead View Post
Tomorrow, we're off to the thriving metropolis of Charleston, SC.
And so it was that we left the serenity of the 7 mile loop on the island and headed off to Charleston. We arrived mid-afternoon and were settled shortly enough. I was out the door and looking for trouble by 1 or 2. Now, as far as trouble is concerned, I never have much trouble finding it. My 1st and only day unescorted in Charleston was no exception.

Ya see, what had happened is that I was on a regular, ya-see-any-place-normal kind of pish-poshy street with stores that sell stuff for folks without financial concerns. Yeah, so there was this sign.. Read: "(Somebody's- I forget) Alley Bar- In the alley behind the Yeti store. Coldest beer in town." We all have our siren's song, amIrite? If I am not tied to the mast of a ship already, well.. I'm in THAT bar. (There's a literary joke in there- bonus if you guess it)

I mean, who *doesn't* look for a place that has beer cans on a deer? I can't say I've ever considered it a necessity, but I will say that the *type* of place that's crush cans on antlers is pretty much where I wanna see what's going on...
Sure enough, at the next alley was... well... a right turn down an alley. I was compelled. A parking lot or 2 that I wouldn't leave *any* car passed by and there again.. an arrow on a sign to sing along with the song. By now, I was too far in. One turn later and there it was. The sign (with another arrow down a yet smaller alley) directed me as promised..
See? the thing is at this place, they'll sell you a $4 PBR. And for a mere $1 more, they'll add on a shot. I hope this only works on adventurous folks who follow blindly signs for cold beer.)Which is to say, it uhhh worked. After the 2nd shot (tequila instead of bourbon) I told the tender that I was happy to buy him the shot if he'd just keep the PBR's cold. We toasted 3's (or so) before The Call came in. The measure of any bar is the shitter. Here's what the sh!tter says ab this place:

Except for some open-market shopping finds in Charleston of shit-our-kids-will-sell-for-pennies, we had shrimp and grits that will, as my buddies are prone to say, "make a puppy pull a freight train," Charleston was a nice prep for the plane ride home for my girls.

I would say *we* had not planned for my daughter to return, but teenagers are teenagers, mommas are mommas, and my plans? Well my plans are some sort of sub-atomic matter that scientists wonder why it exists, *if* it exists, and whether it does or not exist, will just call by it's name shit that they can't explain.

I'm a husband to her mother and a daddy to a teenage girl. My opinion isn't even dark *matter*. My opinion is equal the shit that keeps dark matter from colliding with our planet. The smart folks call this 'dark energy' cause they can't explain it. either. So yes, gentlemen. My opinion isn't even the masses that simply must exist but we can't find.. My opinion is the unexplainable enigma that holds that shit in place. In other words, my opinion is pretty much off the readable scale.

The short answer is that my girls departed as a pair that day. And I was left to see what- and where- was next. I straddled up the circa 1999 pivot bike BMW rack for the E53 and off I went... Searching for either a tree or a pot. I needed to pee.
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