I thought I'd come back and update this post as I ended up having the transmission serviced.
I found an independant transmission shop to do the work and he had done lots of fords that use the same zf 6 speed transmission. Cost was $688AU to change the fluid, pan and filter, 4 round tubes seals, square/rectangular seal and the plug seal. The fluid was very dirty and the seals were going hard and pressed flat so they needed to be done.

It does drive much better and the 2-1 bump is gone when cold. Once warmed up it still does have the 2-1 bump but it is a lot less pronounced. It pretty bad before the service and it is noticlably better now but it will still be present if i roll very slowly to a stop.

Couple of options I have now are
1. Do the software update myself (although I'm not keen on this option as i don't have the voltage stabilizer and don't want to risk bricking it)
2. The transmission shop suggested calling BMW and see what they will charge to update the software modules, he said it should take more than an hour so probably be around $220AU.
3. xHP Flashtool - I've been reading up on this and it could be an option. This looks like it remaps the transmission with some improvements. I don't know if this would cure the 2-1 bump though...

I ask about resetting the adaptations, he didn't recommend doing it. He said it will adapt was i drive it around. Any thoughts on this and is it worth doing?