Update:

So after reseting my adaptations and starting the car up...

STFTs start high 15+
LTFTs at 0

During driving the car for 10-15 mins, the STFTs are slowly dropping (going up and down) in unison until they get around -8

At some point in time during this trip, the LTFTs went to 11.7.

(New) MAF sensor is < 3 g/s at idle (700RPM)

All during this trip, the O2 sensor output voltage on Bank 1 and 2 is looking proper - cycling between 0 and 1 volts - I have not seen this happen to date. Usually the voltage is pegged (lean) at 0 volts (or close to it).

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2005 X5 3.0 6-spd.