Are you sure you don't have a miss or weak cylinder? What are you using for scan tool? Have you done a compression test? Have you eliminated rotating elements? Have you tried to feel for vibrations in the engine bay? Did you check the driveshafts or for any other possible mechanical (maybe exhaust) transfer? You have lots of clues and things you could check but it seems you don't want to or are too lazy to follow any of them.
Have you tried lowering the idle RPM or are you just saying that it's worse ?

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1988 325is (purchased new) sold
2004 X5 3.0 2005 X3 2.5
2008 X5 3.0 (new to me)