2002 E53 3.0
This started happening last year in the hot months and again this year as summer cranked up. It's just like I've hit the self wash button on the stalk and the sprayers and wipers go for 7 swipes. Sometimes the wipers will stop and start at random points like the circuit has been interrupted while this is happening, fully stopping, though, when 7 swipes have been completed.
This only happens on the front wipers and washers.
So far I have

Replaced the wiper relay
Replaced the front wiper wash motor
Replaced the wiper switch/stalk

Has anyone dealt with this? The only thing I can surmise is a wire shorting in the steering column harness (nightmare fuel) or the general module behind the glovebox.

Thanks so much!