I think the reason why your 2005 doesn't have VR commands for the phone is because it was manufactured before March of 2005?

Around that time, BMW updated the Bluetooth / Assist modules. They added support for VR commands within the unit itself. This means you dont have to have a seperate VR module, and the commands are spoken with the male voice you have heard.

If I was you, just go into your center and say you are having problems connecting to Assist or something .... they will probably replace the unit with a newer one. Chances are that will have VR commands ... I would be suprised if it didn't !

Its ashame BMW dont publicize the mid-year changes they often make ... and you have to find this stuff out trial and error as some of us did ... at our own expense may I add !