I always have USC jokes.

Q: What are the best four years of a Trojan’s life?
A: Third grade

Q: What does a Trojan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They’re both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why doesn’t USC have ice on the sidelines?
A: The guy with the recipe graduated.

Q: What do you get when you drive slowly by the USC campus?
A: A degree.

Q: What does the average USC player get on his SAT’s?
A: Drool.

Q: How do you get a USC graduate off your porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.