I had a RX300 before my X and there's no comparison. I've driven the RX350 and it's an improvement over the RX300, but still drives like a jacked up Camry. Don't get me wrong, Lexus makes great vehicles, they're just not driver's cars. My wife has a Lexus Is300 and it's great, but we're in the process of ordering the 335i now. The difference is there in day to day driving, but where they really shine is when you run into that panic stop, swerve, whatever situation.
Your wife will be safer in the X and you'll enjoy driving it alot more. Go with the BMW and you'll never regret it. Safety first right? 
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2005 ///M3 Competition / Interlagos Blue-Black /6spd/SS Race Exhaust/Angel Eyes/Passport HW/Mich. Super Sports Soles (love em)
2008 ///M3 Melb Red w/ Beige Novillo, Tech, Prem, & 19" (Retired)
2005 X5 4.4i Estoril/Grey Sport, Nav, DSP, Prem, Pano, etc. (Wifey's)
2007 335i Silver/Black SP,PP,CWP, Comfort access, & Sirius (Retired)
2001 X5 3.0i (Retired) Silver/Gray Sport w/19"/Prem/DSP/CWP
2002 YZF600R (Retired)
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