I've ready many complaints about the X3 quality and some specific like yours referencing things that just shouldn't occur but I have to say that I am on my second X3 (I had an '04 before) and haven't had any of the issues you mentioned (knock on wood). I have an '05 325 as well and over time on both my X3 and now on my 325 some odd sounds have crept into the mix. Sounds or problems that weren't there before. Nothing major and not enough to get me in for service but they are there. My '04 X3 had more squeaks as time went on - again, nothing that major but I do think they were because of the stiffer suspension that was standard on the '04s.
I agree with other posts: Don't accept the standard dealer "brush off." When I get answers like that I call my sales guy that I bought from and he gets me real answers and gets my problems resolved. It sounds as though your dealership might not be the best and you could do with one that actually believes in customer satisfaction.
Good luck and don't give up on the marque just because of a bad dealer. Hopefully the Roundel can redeem itself for you! 
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MWBBMW
2006 X3 3.0i Highland Green Metallic, Sand Beige Montana Leather, Steptronic, Premium Pkg, Cold Weather Package, Privacy Glass, Xenon Headlights
2007 328i 6-speed, Black Sapphire Metallic, Sport package, Black Leatherette, Heated Seats, iPod & USB Adapter
If God had intended man to walk or fly, he would not have made BMWs! 
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