Man it’s great to be a six year old.

So my son is now a huge hockey fan. Like you expected that not to be the case? Perish the thought!

I bought some awesome Rangers tickets at my 4 year old’s nursery school fundraiser—hey, it was a fundraiser, right?!–2nd row in the corner right next to the Zamboni entrance. We bought the same seats last year and my then 5-year-old son Matthew got a puck from a Garden worker after the warm-ups.

This year, I knew to get there early to get another puck, and we were in the seats before the warm-ups even began. With us this year to see the game against the Montreal Canadiens on Tuesday February 27th was Matthew’s friend Jack, who is our neighbor. Jack’s dad Don was supposed to join us, and being a native of Montreal, he was pretty pumped for the game, even though he had relented and was going to allow his son to wear his Rangers jersey to the game. I had a pair of allies in the boys. However, a last minute business trip to Kansas City forced me to call up my wife Marcie from the minors to take Don’s place in the lineup. Smart move on my part. It was her idea to bring the camera.

So, picture this. Warm-ups are about to begin—the Garden is barely 15% full, and the boys and I are in our glory (and our jerseys) in the second row. There are a few guys on the ice scraping away some water from the sideboards, they exit via the Zamboni doors, and a guy walks over to us. He holds out a puck to the boys and says “which one of you wants this?” Of course, they sat in stunned silence, so the guy turns around, puts the puck back into his pocket and begins to walk away. After 5 steps, I can sense the boys beginning to realize the error of their ways as they start to rustle in their seats, and I begin to panic. After 10 steps, the Garden worker pulls his hands back out of his pockets, spins around, and walks back over to us, this time with a puck in each hand. After a little conversation, the nice guy from Australia (how did he get a job as a Garden worker?) leaves us to examine the pucks. Voila—I am a genius and I won the lottery again. The night is a success, and I can sit back and enjoy the game, knowing I have earned the evening out at the World’s Most Famous Arena!

So the players come out and we watch the Canadiens warm up since we were on their side of the ice. The boys loves it. We order some food and it shows up in 2 minutes—gotta love Club Seats! I take a bite of my chicken finger as the warm-ups come to close, and some young dude in a suit, carrying a clipboard and wearing a badge of some sort (I’m thinking Public Relations Intern, a job I once head for the Los Angeles Rams), sits down behind me. The conversation went something like this:

“Excuse me sir.”
I finish chewing.
“Yes?” (In my mind, I am thinking there is no way I am dressing up in a puck suit and running around the ice in some stupid race to win a free t-shirt—my dignity is worth much more than that! Something like an overpriced fleece warm-up jacket at the least.)
“Hi, I am Generic Dude with the NY Rangers. Would your boys like to ride on the Zambonis after the first period?”
Confused, I turn to my wife, whose response is essentially “What, are you crazy, OF COURSE they do!”
So I take the guy up on the offer. He tells me he will be back to ‘pick us up’ with about 7 minutes to go in the first period.
“Oh, by the way sir, what are the boy’s names?”

Wile E. Coyote, I am a super genius. J

So we watch the first period, and the boys are excited about the ride, but I don’t think they know what is coming. They already have pucks, and in their minds, how much better can the night get? The Rangers scores a beautiful goal on a Jaromir Jagr highlight-reel-quality-play which happens right smack in front of us. SCORE one for the Rangers, and another one for ME! Wuut!

Our cab arrives to pick us up with about 5 minutes to go in the period (the boys are in first grade and if they are told they will be picked up with 7 minutes to go in the period, they expect someone to show up with 7 minutes to go), and we walk about 30 steps into the tunnel under the seats in the Garden. That is cool! I take note of the oversized blow-up puck outfits and huge water bottles that will surely be used for some on-ice game and smile, knowing I am not the fool that has to wear the outfit. But that fleece warm-up does sound enticing.

Remember the nice Australian worker that gave us the pucks earlier? Well, he sees us standing around and walks over to the boys.

“Not you guys again—what are you doing here?”
“We are going on a Zamboni ride.” J
“OK, you two guys, follow me.”
As the walk away with Mike, I am disappointed knowing that they boys will see something I won’t see. Man, that is not fair!
Mike takes the kids into a room, and a minute later they walk out, each carrying their own miniature Stanley Cup.

SCHWING!

We look around a bit more and as the public address announcer blares “Last minute of play in the first period,” we are warned not to take photos of the players as they are walking off the ice right in front of us. Stand back and just let them pass. The horn sounds, the big doors open, and all of a sudden, former Ranger and current Canadien Alex Kovalev is right in front of us, the first player off the ice. He bolts to the locker room, and the rest of the guys follow close behind. Until about 15 players through the line, when all of a sudden, out of nowhere, the line stops.

Sheldon Souray, the big defenseman for the Habs, stops the line. I guess if you wear an ‘A’ on your sweater, you can do that. He looks over in my direction, and sees the pair of boys, one in a blue Ranger jersey, the other in a white Ranger jersey, standing quietly in front of me, wide eyed and obviously having an amazing time. Hold this thought.

So you remember the ‘Mean’ Joe Greene ‘Have a Coke and a Smile’ commercial from around 1980? This is as close as the boys will ever get to living that out.

Mr. Souray (he deserves the proper respect now that I have interacted with him on a personal basis) calls the boys over with a flick of his head as he sticks out his still-gloved left hand. The boys, who were properly trained by their fathers, do not react, because after all, they don’t understand French-Canadian head gestures. The players in line behind Mr. Souray are obviously getting antsy. But after a second flick of the head, and a ‘Go on over’ from me, the boys make a move for Souray’s glove, which has in it the puck that was obviously on the ice for the last shift of the period. It was cold and wet, and both the Rangers logo and NHL logo were somewhat worn.

SCORE! Consider me the new President of the Sheldon Souray Fan Club! J

As a side note, the Garden chaperone said he had never before seen a player stop to give a kid a puck, though he said he ONCE saw a referee do it. Ya, well, it was probably Don Koharski hoping to trade the puck for a dozen Krispy Kremes, or Kerry Frazier hoping to get a new case of hair gel.

Back to our story.

Mike, our friendly Australian Garden worker, decides that Jack will ride the blue Zamboni since Jack is wearing a blue jersey, and the driver’s name happens to be Jack. Imagine the coincidence. Matthew, in his white jersey, will ride with Mike on the white Zamboni. Mike obviously got the job because he is multi-talented and a good motivator.

“Boys, show me how you wave.”
A little bit of gusto from the boys.
“No, no, no, is that the best you can do?”
A bit more enthusiasm.
“Come on, show me what you can do!”
Big smiles and waves!
“Now that’s what I need to see the whole way ‘round!”

The Zambonis fire up, and one at a time they are gone. Matthew is first, and as it hits the ice, we hear over the loudspeaker in the World’s Most Famous Arena:

“Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome tonight’s Zamboni riders. Six year old Matthew B. and Seven year old Jack B. Please give the boys a nice Garden round of applause.” The second Zamboni hits the ice and Marcie and I walk up to the door through which they entered the ice. I, of course, made sure to step on the ice with one foot—yes, I have stepped onto the ice in MSG! We then look up, and guess what we saw on the Garden Vision?! Yes, it was Matthew, waving for what seemed like 10 minutes. He literally waved the entire way around the ice, and continued waving even after they drove back into the tunnel. I think he was a bit overwhelmed, as I would certainly be.

They dismount their animals and are each presented with a Rangers gift bag full of pictures, magnets and other doodads. Unfortunately, there was no fleece warm-up, size XL. Oh well. We take that long 30 step walk back to our seats. The boys are recognized by the crowd and are congratulated by our Club Seat neighbors for their Zamboni riding prowess. They did good! And so did I—I couldn’t have planned it any better.

Oh, and so did the Rangers, who managed a 4-0 shutout win.

HAT TRICK, of the natural variety, for me! Game, set, match!

Man, what a night!!

I am spent—after all, how do I ever top this one?

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