Did you install the 18 connector to the centre console? if you did you can force the BT unit into pair mode,

Do the following.

Get a small peice of wire and strip n twist both ends,
Put keys in ignition (do not turn on yet)
Connect pin7 (pair) to either GND or pin 17 (gnd) in the 18pin connector.
Put ignition to stage 1 and hold the wire loop for 5 seconds then disconnect (pull wire out of pin 7).

This should put the unit into pair mode; pair the phone, wait for the beep, then turn off ingition (to force a phone pair save), the phone is now paired and available.

You might want to check that pin17 is GND (as depending what eject box the lead was for, changes the pin latout).

If you don't have the 18pin eject box connector, then go to the 54pin connector (TCU/ULF end) and open it up and use pin32 to pair the phone (you will need two people 1 to ground pin32 and 1 to turn on the ignition)

However, I think apw2607 is right, TCU modules have to be recoded to the car (at the dealer). You might want to swap the TCU for a BT ULF.

P.S I think the emergency feature will always work for the TCU, regardless of any phone pairing.

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Sept 03, M3, Silver Grey. Retro-fits: Modded Mk4 DVD Drive, OEM Bluetooth, VR Control, Rainbow Speaker Upgrade, Sony SOT Amp, HK Sub, CCFL, Intravee II, NightMode.