Don't remind me.

I hate work. I'm tired of what I'm doing. I can't stand the people I work with. I'm tired of fixing the network (as in trucks, trains, planes, and ships).

Last week Monday I had to turn out my annual career development management appraisal. The process requires that ordinate and subordinates sit down together, discuss what areas of improvement for necessary for said subordinate to make it to the next level, and commit to specific actions to be performed during the current year.

I'm like the last guy out of 300+ people on the region staff to turn his in and I'm on the region manager's shit list with a bullet.

My boss calls me the same afternoon. He tells me I didn't identify any areas of improvement. In every given facit, an assessment of the subordinate's areas of strengths and areas of improvement are required. I had filled in the strengths and left the weaknesses blank. So I tell him, after 34 years with the enterprise, the last 6 on the same assignment, and with a little less than 2 years left on the clock, I ran out of things to improve upon.

And so I further tell him, if he has any ideas about how I can improve, go ahead and fill in the webform, approve it and shoot it on to Corporate HR.

He then points out that I haven't filled in my desired next job. I told him, I don't have one. It would take me 2 years to train a replacement; 2 years is all I have left, and a replacement is no where in sight. So doing the math, I can't go anywhere. So he tells me I have to fill in something and he'll send it in after I edit and resubmit it.

We hang up the phone and I start looking at the drop down list of jobs. Among them, I see CEO. Naw, that's It's too obvious. So I picked a better one - Region Nurse - and click on the send button.

About a minute later, my cellphone rings. It's my boss. We have a 2 word conversation before he hangs up. "You bastard." I'm just laughing my ass off. Nobody is going to read this crap anyways, especially mine. I doubt seriously if my name comes up as candidate in the region and corporate level succession planning meetings.

2 minutes later, I got an email that that my appraisal is approved and has been forwarded onto human resources for archival so I go look. My next career choice is blanked out and all the area of improvement boxes are still blank. I guess he got the message.

This choo choo is running out of track. It's getting near time to blow this popstand. I'm planning a bonfire for all my suits in about 2 years. Anyone want to join me?