Quoted from the Vicious Beating section of
www.thephatphree.com
I've got nothing against Apple. I've owned several Macs over the years, and they are great computers. I even think the iPhone is a pretty sweet phone, all things considered. I just know that by next week I'll hate the iPhone more than AIDS because all the douche bags running around with them strapped to their $90 "vintage" belts will have forever contaminated them with the stink of attention-whoring desperation.
The same thing happened with Bluetooth earpieces. They are far more convenient than the wired variety, but you can't wear one without looking like tool. Every time I see some corporate soldier walking around with that blue LED flashing from the side of his head I want to rip the thing out of his ear and jam it down his fucking throat. You want to know why you've never seen anyone having anything resembling an intelligent conversation on a Bluetooth headset? It's because the only people who wear them in public are fucking morons. It's always some asshole in the liquor store holding up the fucking line while he tries to point out the bottle of ultra-premium vodka he wants without interrupting his conversation about how "sick" The Standard was on Tuesday. Just keep the headset at your desk or in your car where it belongs. You're not fooling anyone into thinking you're important.
Back to the iPhone people. Anyone who drops $500 on a first generation iPhone must be ridiculed. I suggest that if you see anyone pull out an iPhone between now and Christmas, ask them to check it out. Play with it for a minute. Let them talk about how cool it is. Then give it back and say, "You're still really boring."
As a side note I never knew you could have Socialist and Hipster in one person...