This was posted today over on corvetteforum.com, i thought it was pretty funny, as did a lot of the other members over there, i.e. they thought it was over the top....
enjoy the laugh... (even though I'm sure that are some of us who could easily substitute X5 for Corvette in a lot of these LOL!)
Do NOT slam the door, use only the prerequisite force
Do NOT use the window to close the door. Use only the door handle or
weatherstrip ( between the door & window)
Do NOT let rings or other jewellry contact the paint.
Do NOT place anything on the Corvette
Do NOT lean against, sit on or lay on the Corvette,
(unless you are a naked slim)
Do not enter the Corvette until invited
Do not enter the Corvette until you have inspected the soles of your shoes and ensured they are devoid of gum, tar and excrement
Do NOT drag your feet across the sill plate on entry or exit
Do NOT bring any food or beverages into the Corvette
Do NOT touch the inside of the windshield or windows
Do NOT sneeze or cough without covering you mouth and nose
Do NOT create any gaseous emissions
Do NOT admire any other vehicles while seated in the Corvette