The pairing process is only active within the first few minutes of starting the car. Make sure the engine has been turned off for a few minutes at least, then start the car (or turn the key to the first position), then do a search from your phone for BT devices (right away...don't wait too long). It should find the BMW BT module.

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2005 X5 4.4 (Sterling on Truffle) w/sport everything
2011 Audi S4 (Prestige, DSG)
2012 Audi Q7 (Sport, S-Line)