I totally share your likes and dislikes. However, for the gas mileage part, I manage to get 19-20mpg on the highway-only (on relatively flat terrain, such as Garden State Parkway in NJ). Combined I get 16, city-only 12-13 (lots of stop-n-go, short distances)

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His : 2013 X5 3.5d Deep Sea Blue/Black/Aluminum with ALL packages, 20" 214"s, running boards, Adaptive Drive, Spare Tire, BMW Apps
On Order : 2016 X3 3.5 MSport Silver/Mocha with DHP, CW, Prem, Tech, DA, Lighting

Hers : 2015 328xi MSport Silver/Red

Prior:
2008 X5 4.8
2011 X5 3.5d
2010 335 xDrive
2013 335 xDrive