Guys, I need your help

I thought I would finally be all set with getting the Bluetooth and Assist to work but alas.... here goes.

My X5 is a 3-1-04 build with NAV and Assist. I've done the following in the order shown, per the SIB 841304 to get Bluetooth and Assist functional.
Can someone please point me in the right direction with what might be wrong, I need all the info I can garner to go back to the dealer who coded the car for the new TCU. They sadly are lost on this stuff, supposedly, the TCU was set to BT "on" as well as Assist "on". I have copies of Bmwmotorsports, SIB841304 Blutooth Diagnostics.pdf and will bring to the dealer, I'm stuck without their computer.

First, I put in the -114 TCU, and had the car coded by the dealer (3 hours to do this but they only chared me for half the time)

2nd, I tried to pair the Motorola E815 but no go, I asked X5 World and discovered that I needed to add a BT antenna and cable (Crevier had said all I needed was the TCU) Did not having the antenna installed on the code day screw something up?? The dealer who coded didn't think I needed the BT antenna also??

3rd, Bought and added the BMW Bluetooth antenna (BMW 84 50 6928461-01, Hirshman part number 920 800 002) and antenna cable.

4th, Tried to pair the phone again (plus several others at Verizon) but no go

The VR on the -114 TCU works, the TCU will call Verizon and gets James Earl Jones voice, however the Assist will not dial out, i currently have not activated assist with BMW as I'm trying to sort out the phone. I have the black bumper antenna and the BT antenna connected to the TCU along with the main cable. there are no other Fakra cable connected to the TCU other than these

Is there anything I'm doing wrong in the pairing process, when i hit the R/T button, i get a solid ACTIVATE PHONE in the cluster display but the E815 cannot discover the car......tried pairing next to antenna etc, N/g.

I appreciate all your help and will post what it took to get this accomplished when done for an update..........thanks