LVR, you are trying to teach your son social skills that are too advanced for his age. "Lord of the Flies". You have created a situation where he is prey. What you view as "good manners" and "politeness", is viewed by the other children as weakness.

A tale: When my son was 7, he was already a black belt in Tae Kwon Do. He came home one Sunday afternoon sniffling, and some questioning revealed two brothers down the street had been picking on him, and knocked him off his bicycle. When I asked if he had done anything to provoke it, he said the boys were jealous of his new bike. I asked what he did in response; he ran away. He was afraid he would "get in trouble" if he had a fight (something taught all the children in school, to ensure tranquility).

I told my son he would definitely be in trouble with me if he started a fight. He would be in equal trouble in the future if I discovered he had allowed someone to abuse him without aggressive response. I explained that if someone views you as a target, they will attack you. If you have a reputation of "don't mess with that boy", you rarely have to fight. Peace through strength, per the late President Ronald Reagan.

A couple weeks later, my son comes home with a smile on his face. This time, when the neighbor brothers attacked him, he responded with an appropriate level of force. They both ran away, and my son has never had to have a fight with local boys again; word spreads quickly (he will soon be 14). He and those brothers are friends, but peers who understand neither should be considered prey.

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