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Thanks for the words of wisdom folks.
This morning my wife and the mother (who go running together) had a chat before doing anything. The other mother apologised and it seems the child has already had both school and parent counselling previously. She was aghast that her son was being so vicious and he is going to have a period of no friends around.
Today was my turn at school parent duty (helping out in the playground and activities) so it was good to see what was happening out in the yard. My son played with his mates fine and there was no cause for me to be worried about him. The other boy was chastised for pushing and punching another child by the teacher, so it appears that the larger group is less of a problem.
I did notice that the other boy and a few of his mates were tormenting one of the girls, but then lose interest when she continued playing with her girlfriends.
My wife and I have spoken at length, about our points of view, complaints from other mothers about the same boy etc. She has informed her friend that we are considering teaching our son to properly defend himself, in Tae Kwon Do 3-6 year old classes. My wife has also informed the teacher that this is our solution. We are fortunate enough in that all the parents are quite open and talk together and all the mothers of the boys involved have spoken to each other several times today..... I am sure if my son oversteps the mark we will be told, however I hope that he has learnt respect enough in our home environment. The mother of the bully seemed to think he needed a bit of his own medicine...
Having re-read my original post, I can see my anger in threatening to teach my son to be offensive, however that is not what we are about and think we have dealt with it properly. We will assess what is happening and how he plays one on one with some of the other boys before we commit on self defence classes.
I know the difference between just rough house and being nasty. When my son had fallen over on the trampoline, to see him trying to get up while another child was punching him over the head and face with a football is not called for and is a picture no parent wishes to see. That's not my ego, indignity or whatever. It is a parent nipping the problem in the bud because we are aware of his environment.
If my child had been the aggressor I would have been on his case quick. I agree with the viewpoint that my son would be in trouble for fighting, but I will also emphasise that defending yourself is ok.
Thanks
John
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