I came across this link...
SI B84 13 04 and came across this...
"For E46/E83/E85/E53 vehicles produced
between 3/2004 and 8/2004, are equipped with a
TCU that does not support Bluetooth®. On these
vehicles the TCU can be replaced at the
customer's expense with a 2005 MY TCU.
Cradles may not be added to these vehicles
because of wiring incompatibility.
Please disregard the Owner's Manual insert,
shown to the left, indicating Bluetooth®
functionality. The hardware in these vehicles will
not work correctly."
To the OP...looks like we're going to have to upgrade to either a MY 2005 TCU with Bluetooth or a stand alone Bluetooth module.
Daniel