I just went upstairs in my townhouse to my bedroom to see a squirrel the size of an f'ing raccoon freaking out on my blinds like its a rabid tasmanian devil... any advice on how to handle this without getting myself killed?

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"First we get the money... then we get the chicks"
"NONONO. First we get the money... then we get the khakis...then we get the chicks!"