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I agree w/diagnosis: dead battery.
They "sit" on the Stlr's lot for weeks/months with an occasional short drive and/or doors opening and closing.
Good luck on the "free" replacement: most Stlrs want about 250 for a new one;
Pep Boys, AutoZone, et al, have 'em for less than a hundred.
GL,md
PS: "CPO" means the Stlr had the car washed and waxed by the $8/hr cretins.
And, "Maybe" up on a lift for 10 mins.
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