I did have tranny reprogrammed in October and yeah.. as you mentioned, I notice not much difference even after the reprogramming.. but the jerky stopping's sort of got better.
I'm getting around 12.8mpg. MPG worsens as winter comes..
I guess it's because of snowy cold weather in western NY.
Less traction/extra engine warmup in the morning --> more gas --> lower MPG..

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2008 X5 4.8i Black Sapphire/Black perforated int./Dark Bamboo wood trim, [w/ all factory options except rear DVD system]
+ aerodynamic kit/stainless pedals/illuminated door strip/3M Color-Stable tint/LED license plate light/Thule's 91726 snowboard carrier.
2006 X5 4.4i, Titanium Silver/Black int./Anthricite Maple(traded)