So in the end I gave up on my beloved iMate jam, and bought a Nokia 6230i which is supposed to be a BMW supported phone (I got a BMW manual, and adaptor for it)

I now get the phonebook automatically transferring to my car,... yay

however the contacts in my phone have multiple phone numbers (ie home phone, mobile phone, Business phone), yet when I select them on the display on the X5 it only ever shows 1 number for each conatct?? this as almost as useless as no phonebook transfer at all