The dealer should do it for you! I just bought my 2006 X5 and had the phone working including my phonebook in less than 30 seconds. The salesman did it. (Maybe it's cuz I'm a "girl"???)

I have an iPhone if that helps. I've used many Bluetooth devices and it's very phone-dependent. I have a bluetooth device on my motorcycle helmet and had dicey luck with Samsung and iPhone but not with Motorola and Sanyo. I will say, the BT technology in the X5 seems more sophisticated to others I've used.

And tell your wife she should get an iPhone, it will change her life!! I look at other phones now and shake my head. I have friends with Blackberrys and they drool when they get ahold of my iPhone. The only problem with getting your wife an iPhone is that you will soon want one! Trust me.