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BMW doesn't design a trailer brake controller into the X5; see the posts above. There is a harness in the rear, but I understand you still need to run a wire to the front.
I think that the reason that BMW states not to use an equalizing hitch is because they have no experience with them, and have no control over how they will be used, hence a liability issue. Experienced drivers towing are accustomed to them, and they are essentially an unknown to the rest of the world. I would say that the equalizing bars reduce stress on the vehicle suspension, and have little if any effect on the chassis. There isn't a frame on the X5, as it is a unibody design, but the same principle carries through. They transmit a bending moment, but it is relatively small, only a few hundred pounds typically. The rear axle is not the fulcrum in that scenario, the front axle is (as the fulcrum is the lever point).
I don't think the trailer sway control will have much effect with very slight sway, it uses the dynamic vehicle sensors to sense when the trailer is taking over the vehicle, and damps it out with the use of brakes. In that sense, it will intervene similarly to ABS, and not be engaged constantly (although it will monitor constantly). Agree completely that with a light or medium weight trailer you don't need an equalizing hitch. Trailer weight distribution (correct tongue weight) matters more than anything else. I never towed over 5000 lbs, but that was fine without an equalizing hitch on an E53.
Good luck.
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2007 X3 3.0si, 6 MT, Premium, White
Retired:
2008 535i, 6 MT, M Sport, Premium, Space Grey
2003 X5 3.0 Steptronic, Premium, Titanium Silver
2002 325xi 5 MT, Steel Grey
2004 Z4 3.0 Premium, Sport, SMG, Maldives Blue
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