then I'm glad it was a rimmed up Range that messed up my rimmed up X... Of course I'd rather not have met the drunk, fake-ass Rick James, driving this beautiful vehicle but anyway, here goes...


I was hanging out Saturday night/Sunday morning about 2am and was headed from Manhattan to Brooklyn over the Brooklyn Bridge to drop my best friend home. At Chambers St we pull up next to tacky, fake-dreadlocks wearing Rick James look-a-like driving a beautiful silver Range Rover with 22" silver rims. From Chambers St (you NYers will know what I'm talking about here) to enter the Brooklyn Bridge, you have to make a right at the light and then a left onto the bridge. There are two lanes, one only turns left onto bridge, the other goes straight AND turns left onto the bridge.


So Im in the outer lane and Rick James is in the inner lane making the left turn (I SO wish I could've gotten a pic of his appearance, that was his legs in one of the pics).


I make my left a little ahead of him and Rick James crosses the line and runs into the driver's side of my rear bumper of my X. I've never been broadsided or sideswiped before while moving so when he proceeded to keep driving I thought I must've been imagining that I felt some sort of impact. So I roll down my window with my foot on the gas and hanging ALL THE WAY out the window so I can see the rear side of the bumper to confirm my worst suspicion.


Then I zoom across the bridge to catch up to the guy and pull up alongside him and he's merrily driving along, completely aloof to the fact that he just hit me. So I start yelling something and he's still singing along to the Mary Jane Girls or something. Finally we get to the end of the bridge to Tillary street where thankfully there's three lanes of traffic and a stoplight which fortunately for me was red.


So he's directly in front of me and I jump out the X all ghetto/gangster and ran up on his Range to the driver's side window like, "Yo son you just ran into me, yo you hit me WTF, blah, blah, blah...". This dude is looking at me like "Are you freaking kidding me?" And then with careful slurred speech, he responds that he doesnt know what Im talking about.


Of course I'm not believeing him and I'm thinking he was just trying to get away but in hindsight I realize he really didnt know he hit me. So I got him to get out (cause you know a brother was ready to reach in and snatch the keys out of the ignition) and he looks at the damage to his vehicle and then starts asking where this event occured and all that. At one point he leaned over to inspect the damage and he simultaneously stepped on my foot and exhaled into my face. I'd guess he had at least 3 beers. And he was about 6' 1" and 160lbs. Then he got back into his vehicle and I'm thinking to myself, "ok yeah this dude's gonna try to run".


So thats when Im yelling to my friend who at this point is out of the X to call the police. I'm like , "yo this fool is drunk! Call the police!"


As the words were coming from my mouth and Im standing directly in the path of this vehicle, the boys in blue (who are NEVER around when you need them) came right off the offramp to the bridge.


So there are alot more details but Im sure you guys are tired of reading at this point as Im tired of writing. Long story short, the cops made us pull over out of the intersection. The guy claims he was dropping his friend off at the airport (at 2am? yeah ok) and didnt ever recall hitting me (that I can believe). The officers told him my story was consistent with the very obvious damage and they didnt believe him that he didnt hit me.


I told 3 different officers to breathalyze this dude and the last one tells me its up to his superior whether or not they do it. They told me it doesnt matter anyway, they guy was getting arrested because his license was suspended.


Of course the car was not in his name but he DID (thank God) have valid insurance coverage. And apparently a valid Welfare benefits card too!! WTF!!?? What is wrong with that picture?


So the shots of the Range next to the cruiser were because the Range got impounded. My friend and I went back to the precinct with the VERY NICE (absolute anomalies among NYPD officers) and they gave me copies of the guys license, insurance, and registration.


I felt bad afterwards for the guy because he was very apologetic after the accident and gave me the obligatory NYC, "hey can we work something out on the side and not go thru the insurance company". Been there done that homeboy. I'm also sure my friend and I scared the shit out of him because I was on FIRE ready to knock the dude out and he knew it. My friend was right there ready to throw down as well and we were quite vocal about it, lol.


Anyway, I'm glad it wasnt any worse and hopefully I can find this Aero bumper and get it repaired. Maybe I'll even make it to the TriState meet.


His insurance company has someone coming to look at my X tomorrow. I just know they better give me enough to get the factory AERO bumper again!


Anyway, safe driving to all of you and I just wanted to say in closing,


I'M RICK JAMES BITCH!!!
(if you dont get that, google it) (i'm not rick james in the story, thats just a saying i couldnt resist quoting)

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In living life, the balance of responsible effort and dependence upon divine enablement must be maintained vigilantly.

2001 X5 3.0 manual with factory widebody kit