Update from my post in Feb 2008...

I still was never happy with the 1st to 2nd jerk when the SAV would first start off. I also still had some 3rd to 2nd downshift jerk when allowing the vehicle to coast to a stop.
One week ago I had the adaptation values reset (or deleted?) from the AGS (transmission ECU) and let my spouse drive the vehicle. I just drove it tonight for the first time since the reset and all the issues are gone. Much, much better.
I'm thinking the Dealer never reset the adaptation values...

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2010 X5 3.5d: SOLD, but miss the torque...
2004 X5 4.4i: SOLD, but served us well