OK Thanks for the comments, so:

Step 1 - Get a CD with Maps on... Can that be any version? Can I get them off ebay or can I borrow them off someone else and then load them on and give CD back?

Step 2 - You said to get an OS from v24 or later, but not v32... what version should I get?

My X5 already has voice control from the steering wheel - where is this coming from? Where is the best place to get this ULF or TCU GSM?? Are the expensive?

Analogue is defintely still on...

Do you mean to reset the car battery? If this under bonnet or the one in the boot under the wheel? Will this affect anything else?

If its the one under the spare wheel, isn't the TV module located somewhere there, couldn't I just pull the power on that?