In a moment of extreme empathy for the pain you've been enduring, your SA emails you a photo of your new X5! And by golly you get to check off those first two items on the list: its the right color and it has all four wheels.
Image warning for 5Bs (Black, Blacker, Blackest BMW Brigade) members. You may want to avert your eyes now. 
The following image is of an un-modded X5
work truck (as opposed to a heavily modded X5
show truck) and it is not black
This diesel X5 work truck will spend at least the next 3-5 yrs hauling construction materials -- trailers full of framing lumber, cement blocks, mortar, concrete -- down a long dusty, crushed limestone driveway to our cabin (AKA the construction site). It will be a regular at the local quarry, loading up a couple of tons of gravel, road base, limestone, etc. in our 5x9' 5,000 lb capacity utility trailer.
So it is equipped with...
* the paint/interior least likely to show limestone dust in 10 seconds (Titanium Silver & Gray)
* 18" wheels and tires w/ the most side wall to handle rough, rocky roads (e.g. our driveway)
* and of course, the obligatory 6,000 lbs trailer hitch to haul stuff
It probably won't turn many heads on the highway, but I assure it will at the quarry
Funf Dreisig