At the dealership now and they've confirmed that the TCU is dead. Said they're going to swap it for a new one but that they'll need to load new software (program it so it's properly associated with my VIN so that the BMW Assist feature works) once it's installed and that will take 2-3 hours...

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2006 X3 3.0i
Black sapphire with terracotta Montana leather
Premium & sports packages, heated seats, privacy glass, and BMW iPod integration kit
My first BMW - I love it!

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